Mama said there’d be days (or two…or five…or seven…) like this

Finn has been a terror lately.

And that’s saying something, because he is something of a hellion to begin with (and I say that with love).

Now he’s up at least once an hour all night, sometimes crying and screaming, taking maybe two 20 minute naps a day and generally being fussy and clingy all day.

Why? Why? Why?

Babies need to come with little display panels. It could be like on The Sims where you could tell they were hungry or bored or needed to pee. It would make life a lot simpler.

I am hoping this is teething or demon possession and not just his personality. I am into a week of almost no sleep and it is not making me a particularly happy or functioning woman.

Right now I just quietly chant “it’s a phase, it’s a phase” over and over. I’m too tired to really do much to try and change anything, so I am going for the “this will resolve itself with time” method.

We shall see if I’m right.

Some early giving thanks

I often struggle as a mother.  The whole being a mom thing hasn't come easy to me and while I love Finn he's not always the world's easiest baby (I think...I'll admit I don't really have many babies to compare him to).

But then there are days like today that are just...magical.

Finn (who is not a morning baby) was so easy this morning and let me clean up our totally trashed house.

Then he took a two hour morning nap!  And then more baby easyness!  And then another long nap!

I don't know where it's cominng from, but even it's just an early Thanksgiving miracle, I will take it.

Confession #3 - I have realized I have no control over anything

This is my new realization.

Nothing I do matters or makes any difference in terms of Finn's behavior, and especially with his sleep.

It's a little disheartening, although potentially freeing, if I can just really make myself believe it.

Some nights (a lot of nights) he is up every 45 minutes.  Pretty much all night.

Yeah, it's a good time.

Other nights he sleeps great (for him, which means he's only up every few hours - it's all relative people).

I have read every book every written on baby sleep.  I have talked to other moms.  I have posted on message boards.  I have changed and changed again: what I eat, what he eats, vitamins I take, what he drinks, when he sleeps, where he sleeps, how I put him to sleep, and on and on and on.

And, in the end, the good and bad nights just seem totally random.

After he has a good night I go over and over the day that led up to it.  But I can recreate it exactly and he still will not sleep the next night.

So, I am giving up.  He will sleep eventually, right?

Today's Confessions: The baby sleeps with us

Moms constantly ask each other how the baby is sleeping. Is he sleeping through the night? Still waking up at night? How many times? When does he go to sleep? And on and on and on.

I understand why. Sleep is magical. It is a balm for everything that happens in a day and it never seems quite so important as when you're not getting it.

That being said, I never know quite what to say when people quiz me about Finn's sleeping habits. I will be cagey for a while before I sheepishly admit that he sleeps with us...in our bed.


I know. Shocking.


Apparently he will NEVER EVER LEAVE. And he will NEVER EVER learn to fall asleep on his own. Or so people like to tell me.


It's practically child abuse.

But that's not even my real confession. The real dirt is that I LOVE having him sleeping with us. Yes, there are days when he's up all night and it sucks and I feel like I can't move or talk or go to the bathroom in case I wake him up. But mainly I get to cuddle with him and see his little moon face and have him wake me up by blowing raspberries on my arm and laughing. Plus I don't have to get out of bed and wander down the hall to him.

At this point, I can't imagine having him sleep anywhere else. I remember being completely terrified of nighttime as a child and desperately wanting to sleep with my parents. I don't want Finn to feel like that.

So, yes, I am sure at some point he will move into his own room, but no, I have no idea when that will be. For now the answer to "How is he sleeping?" is "With me!"