Sunday, January 24, 2010

Are you the adult you’d thought you’d be?

Sometimes I have this vision in my head of adult me.

She’s delightful, I have to tell you. Her house is clean, she’s well put together – groomed and dressed, she cooks delicious meals, her time management is amazing, and she is always sweet and happy with her husband and child.

I keep waiting to grow up and be her.

But then I realize that I am grown up and I am nothing like that. And when I start to compare us, I don’t look so good.

My house is a mess. It was never that neat, but the addition of a toddler means it always looks like you’ve walked in in the middle of a robbery. And I’m being robbed by people who rolled in mud and dog hair before they came into your house.

There are (many) days when my version of dressed is most people’s version of pajamas. Make-up and done hair? Not so often.

I hate cooking dinner. I do it, but it’s not pretty. And I really struggle to come up with something healthy and well balanced.

I feel like I can’t get anything done. I run around all day, but have I finished my Christmas thank you cards? Managed to get the enormous laundry pile under control? Not so much.

And, finally, I am often snappish and a little mean to Kevin and frustrated with the little one.

I don’t know how to become the woman I want to be. Sometimes I feel like everyone has it down but me. Or is everyone faking it?




This is not me.

5 comments:

Lori E said...

First of all lighten up on yourself because it won't help anything.
Few people have their homes like that other than my old neighbor. Her place was spotless 24/7 in every closet, cupboard, room, even the shed. When her daughter came and stayed with us some time after they had moved she commented that she wanted to live in a house that felt like someone actually lived in it.
When we were robbed I did tell the police that we weren't ransacked but that was actually how the downstairs looked. How embarrassing.
I will tell you something I have learned in my years. People love to come to our house for dinners, barbecues or parties because we are so relaxed. If I ruined dinner we could order pizza though surprisingly I never did ruin it. People put their feet up and have a beer or some wine or coffee and relax. We laugh and have a good time. My kitchen is clean for cooking and my main bathroom is clean for guests but other than that they take what they get and they keep coming back.
I have a shedding dog and lots of hobbies. Stuff and dog hair is everywhere. Oh well. It won't be on my tombstone that I had a clean house it will say that I had fun.

Wendy said...

I think the people who claim to do it all are faking it. It is VERY challenging to do it all. I commend you for even having the desire to want to do Christmas thank you cards...that's WAY better than me! I still haven't even mailed out Ryan's birth announcements, and he's 4 months old now! Don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing a great job!

Sean and Ingrid said...

I feel this way all.the.time. And guess what is also on my never ending to do list- Christmas thank you cards! Seriously. I swear. I only want to write one sentence on each one and I just keep not doing it.

What Wendy said made me think of that movie, American Beauty. Have you seen it? I really liked that one. The people who looked so perfect on the outside were a mess really. So true.

Finn's Mom said...

I'm glad it's not just me. It seems like I should be able to stay on top of things since I'm not working. But not so much.

faith ann raider said...

Hey! I found your blog through the new Kennesaw Mom's club thingy on Meetup. Cant's wait to come to one of those meetings and meet another mom who loves blogging like me!
It gets SO much easier when your kids get a little bit older and little things, like emptying the dishwasher, or making a pot of mac n chease aren't major ordeals. My oldest is eight, my youngest is two, it's crazy how hard it is to get anything done. One day I was feeling really bad about all of the things I felt I ought to be doing, you know I don't remember the kitchen sink being full of dirty dishes. But then I don't remember much about being two. Plus my mom didn't have things like Facebook and blogs to keep up with! ;) Anyway, then I noticed all these little smudges on the bathroom miror down low from the little fingers of my little girls, I thought -one day it'll be easier. One day little fingers won't be making little smudges on mirrors and my mirrors will stay clean. Then I nearly cried at the tought of having no more little fingers in the house!! Yes they make such a mess but they are so precious!
Anyway, none of us are nearly as perfect as we seem to be and really don't have it together really much at all!If you'd only seen me at the grocery store today, you'd know.
Anyway - love your blog! Can't wait to read more.